Ending any relationship is a hard bump in the road of life. We’ve all been there, and we all hate it. Even worse, the pain of breaking up with someone tends to feel like the end of the road, and you just want to get back to being happy. What if you could lessen the blow a bit? I’m here to tell you that you can. Just because a relationship has ended doesn’t mean you can’t work toward getting it back. Sit back, relax, and read my 10 sneaky tactics for winning your ex back and living a happy, love-filled life!
1. Give Your Ex Time and Space
If you just recently broke up, things are likely still quite raw. If you rush it, they could either resent you for it or rebound. Neither of those outcomes is good for you. If they resent you for it, you’ll severely lower your chances of ever being in their good graces. If they rebound, it’s not going to be real and you will end up getting hurt in the process. Give each other a breather and let things process and get resolved before jumping right back into the mess you just got out of. Nobody likes being pushed into anything they’re not ready for, and your ex is likely the same way. I know this step may be difficult, but it’s very important and it’s the right thing to do. Put down the phone, don’t leave them a million messages, be patient, and wait.
2. Before You Work on the Relationship, Work on Yourself
It’s likely that you and your ex broke up because of deeper issues involving something in one or both of your characters. If you broke up because of something they disliked about you, don’t necessarily change yourself, just strengthen the good parts of your personality. Work on your confidence, sensitivities, emotional stability, and maturity. If you do this, you will feel better about yourself, and your ex will appreciate you more for putting in the effort. Prove to your ex that you are willing to change for them in the best ways. Telling your ex you have changed holds no merit if you can’t back it up. Show your ex how grown-up you can be, and it will give them the security to know that you can maintain a stable relationship when you get back together.
3. Don’t Ever Bring Their Friends Into It
This isn’t high school. Don’t rope your ex’s friends into your personal affairs. This will likely either make your ex feel betrayed and ganged up on, or it will make their friends upset and pull your ex even farther away from you. Be genuine, and talk to your ex yourself. Voice your hopes and your concerns, and be open and honest with your ex. One-on-one discussions are much more genuine and well-received than employing outside forces to do your work for you. If you truly care about your ex as much as I believe you do, you must do the legwork and confront your ex yourself.
4. Don’t Let Your Emotions Rule Over Your Decisions
Don’t lead with your heart, lead with your head. Think through every step you take, and tread carefully. Rely on your emotions and instincts only after you’ve taken the time to reflect on the outcomes. Take a deep breath, envision your ex’s reaction to emotional outbursts, and modify. When someone breaks up with you, it’s sure to hurt your pride and pitch you into a turmoil of emotions. Take some time to center yourself and I promise you will have better results.
5. Don’t Downgrade Your Ex for Leaving You
You’re trying to find reasons for your ex to want to get back with you. You are not looking for reasons to make them more upset with you. If you beat a dead horse and bring up the exact reasons you two broke up, you’re only giving them more ground to turn it back on you and push you further away. Downgrading your ex will only spur arguments and resentment. They will feel low, and it will make them lash out and never want to talk to you again. Instead, lift your ex up and make them feel special. Make them remember the reasons they got together with you in the first place, and give them new reasons to respect and admire you!
Related Article: 10 Habits of All Successful Relationships
6. Do Not Try to Make Them Jealous
Jealousy is a sharp, volatile tactic. Don’t use it as a tool. Flaunting new relationships and pushing the fact that you don’t need your ex anymore will only drive your ex away. It’s will also put a big sign over your head that reads “I’m desperate”. If your ex sees that you are in a new relationship, they will think you have either completely moved on or are grasping at straws. Jealousy is not a healthy tactic at all. It could hurt them, in fact. If there is a shred of love left for you, it will disappear the second you start shoving rebound romances in their face. Furthermore, jealousy is a sign of low self-esteem. If your ex thinks you need an emotional crutch to get them back, they will think less of you and it will turn them off from wanting to be with you. It can also hurt their own self-esteem and make them think they’re not good enough for you either when they see you with a new beau.
7. Don’t Bring Up Past Arguments
Don’t harp on issues that have long since been resolved. If you want to win your ex back, make them feel appreciated by remembering the good times you shared. Don’t bring up the bad arguments and disagreements you had, or your ex may just focus on what broke you two up in the first place. Get nostalgic and bring up past dates, laughs, and times of joy. Then, focus on new ones! I promise this will bring forth much more positive results and will help your ex forget the bad aspects of the relationship. Always try to build upon the good things about yourself and your relationship, and it will help you build a better foundation for your future with your ex.
8. Take Responsibility and Admit What You Did Wrong
There are two sides to every breakup. Odds are, you played a part in the outcome. Take responsibility for the faults you had, work on fixing them, and admit them to your ex. Ask for forgiveness and show them you sincerely mean it. If you want a mature, healthy relationship, you have to prove that you are a mature, humble adult. You can’t always be right, and stubbornness will only make your ex think you are bull-headed, unmoveable, and inflexible in a relationship. A good way to visualize it is this: being hard-headed leads to a hard relationship.
9. Take it Slow
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was any healthy relationship. Take things at a comfortable pace. Don’t rush into things, and don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself or your ex. If you do, you’re asking for trouble and heartbreak. Take this time to do things step-by-step, and it will show your ex a better representation of the progress you are actively making to make things better for both of you. For each tip I’m offering to you, take your time and make sure you perfect it before moving on to the next one.
10. Don’t Get Angry if Your Ex Doesn’t Come Back
Take my first and ninth tips to heart and give it time. If your ex doesn’t accept you at first, don’t blow up at them. Stay calm, try to at least remain friends. If it was meant to be, it will be. Try the best you can to win your ex back, but be resilient enough to bounce back if you have to and focus on yourself until and if they return. Emotions get in the way of genuine growth in a relationship, and anger is the worst of those emotions. Never let anger control you. If it does, your ex will see it as a sign that future encounters and issues in your relationship will only end in yelling matches and hurt feelings. Don’t let this be the only thing your ex sees in you.
If you’re asking yourself “It is really possible to win back my ex?”, I’m telling you that you can, my friend. Your love life isn’t over. There’s always a small shred of hope you can cling onto and weave into a happy reality. Take my tips to heart and get back out there! Win back your ex, better yourself, and live your best life. I truly hope you will find the greatest forms of happiness and love you can achieve, and I urge you to listen to all of the sneaky tips I’ve thrown your way. Never falter, and stay strong! Best wishes!
Check out the free video presentation of Brad Browning. In it, he’ll tell you exactly how you can get your ex back…..
—Brad Browning, a love relationship expert and author of The Ex Factor Guide: Men and women who want to get back together with an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.
Wishing you love and happiness.