So, here is the thing about being broken-hearted; there is a time where it does become just a memory but the pieces dismantled are never fully put together again. Remember that broken hearts protect you from the bad apple. Here are the 50 questions that every broken-hearted girl asks herself.
Here are 50 questions:
1. Did I do something wrong?
Chances are you didn’t and it’s just some miscommunication. If he is unsure, she is unsure, or if neither of the partners communicates, if curious, make sure you get to the bottom of these unanswered questions.
If left to fester it tends to create resentment.
Questions like; “Do you both need space? Why does he need space?” are usually the indicator that you will be leading yourself to this question. You desire for the nitty-gritty details of who is at fault searching for someone to blame.
The question is typically asked because you have been led to doubt, forcing yourself to think that maybe you did do something wrong; the only problem is how do you evaluate the person’s effort. If you think you did everything in your power to try to make the relationship work, then fine, but if not re-evaluating decisions made in the relationship might be a good reflecting experience.
2. Can I get my gifts back??
Unless you absolutely need something it’s probably recommended to stay away; avoid rebound behavior.
3. Why did I allow him to enter my life in the first place?
It’s depressing to think that our life is all planned out and everything that happens has a preexisting effect. We’d just be stuck in a series of events with no control.
Embrace the journey even if it’s painful.
4. Is he happy?
When you ask this question with twiddling thumbs over your social media apps; Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc; stop. The desire to know what, who and how he is doing is strong. The question you should ask yourself is: why do I care?
But this leads to dangerous thoughts.
You begin starting to equate his happiness with your own inadvertently beginning to let positive energy dissipate leaving you with resentment. Do not let that happen; resentment is an undesirable emotion leading to depressive and anxious thoughts.
According to Michelle O’Riley in Is social media bad for mental health and wellbeing and while exploring the perspectives of adolescents, she summarizes her concerns on mental wellbeing. She says: (1) it was believed to cause mood and anxiety disorders for some adolescents, (2) it was viewed as a platform for cyberbullying, and (3) the use of social media itself was often framed as a kind of addiction’.
If you begin to move to this question; stop! Attempting to avoid comparing yourself to others’ happiness; using social media is usually not the best bet for honesty at face value.
5. Do I want him to be happy? If he cheated; then no.
6. Is he with a new girl (and is he prettier than me)? This is a rabbit hole that is advisable to not go down.
7. Is it bad that I’m still jealous?
If you have a new beau then maybe a little but try avoiding going down this route leading to vulnerable thoughts. When an individual has these moments of doubt remember there is a reason the decision to separate took place and remind yourself what they are. Jealousy can lead to thoughts right back to your partner; avoid them.
There is way more to this question than it just being either “good or bad”; it is complicated.
8. Should I get a sugar daddy? Seems tempting.
9. Why did he change?
Sometimes feelings fade away.
For individuals who wish to know why it is wise to go to the root of the source; your partner. Getting closure is one of the most effective and therapeutic processes when splitting up especially if you have insecurities you may want to tamper down.
10. Do I deserve an explanation? Always.
11. Will I be broken-hearted forever? Chances are not; chin up!
However, it’s interesting that it’s more probable you could get actual medical heart problems.
The British Heart Foundation funded a study into broken heart syndrome, affecting around 3,000 people in the UK every year triggered by severe emotional stress i.e break-up. It strains muscles, contracting efforts, and poor circulations.
Maybe we should stay away from men.
12. Is this the last time I am going to see him. should I give up?
You only know if it is time to give up; evaluate the pros and cons of the relationship. Ask yourself; can I do it again?
13. Should I move to Europe and indulge in Italian men? Why not?
14. How long will I wait for the perfect one?
It is advisable to drop these types of expectations.
Optimists may disagree but the perfect partner is inherently a contradiction. It cannot exist, but if you believe your partner is perfect to you, then they are. No person is without flaws and fantasizing about it may cause you to set the bar too high; have one but do not keep it out of reach.
15. Should I just freeze my eggs? Seems easier.
16. Am I too picky? Maybe.
17. Should I change my hair? Don’t, chances are you will regret it the next day.
18. Do I fear intimacy? It is possible.
19. Did he smile while he lied? Maybe.
20. When will I stop crying when I smile? It will get better.
21. Is it going to be painful every time?
A relationship can sometimes be akin to sadistic pleasure; the experience is enjoyable but painful.
It can be a poisonous experience but it does not have to be; just do not settle. If you are not in love with the idea of spending forever with a certain person then don’t.
Good relationships take a lot of work but they’re worth it.
22. Did he leave because of me?
You, yourself, as much as anyone else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection -Buddha
Why do we self-blame when it comes to relationships? It seems to be an often trend of this toxic form of abuse. If we convince ourselves that someone’s being hurtful or insensitive because of our own failings, there becomes this toxic cycle. Do not place the happiness of the relationship entirely in their hands.
Liberate yourself; avoid self-criticism.
23. I love him; should I just stay? Probably not.
24. Do I not make him smile anymore? Did he make you smile?
His evaluation of you should not determine your feelings; avoid self-deprecating behaviors.
25. Is he thinking about me?
Careful of obsessive behavior as it can cause us to go back to undesirable situations.
26. Does heartbreak stop after marriage? No
27. Did he think about me as his everything? This is a question you have to ask him.
28. Is he proud to have dated me? Only if he is a good man.
29. Why do I not hate him? Sometimes it may be rather difficult to forget the good experience, stay strong!
30. Do I have the right to be disappointed? Remind yourself: You have a right to your disappointment.
31. Does the empty feeling go away? Yes.
32. Can I give him my pain to show how he hurt me? No, moving on is the best way to put a foot forward and move on.
33. Does the feeling go away? No, you just stop hurting together.
34. Did I lose my best friend? Would a best friend hurt you as he did?
35. Is he doing what is best for him? That depends, are you to blame?
36. Is he pretending to be okay? Maybe.
37. Do I wish I never met him? No need to wish that; experiences are valuable despite any negative feeling associated with them.
38. Does he wish he never met me? I hope not.
39. How can I hate and love you? It is possible.
40. Is it me that is too emotional?
If you share your needs and feelings driving the person away then avoid toxic individuals such as this. Relationships mean having the right to ask questions about the status and problems of the situation.
A child will confront and an adult will avoid it; choose the right partner.
41. Is it bad of me to hope you come back? No, we all want back the times where we have memories filled with fond moments.
42. Are we toxic together? Why do I still want you?
43. How long can I stay strong?
At times breaking can be tempting when loneliness sets in; call your biggest support system to tempt you out of this scenario.
44. Is this my chance to find someone better than him?
The universe will unfold itself however it will make healthy choices steering you hopefully out of the direction of relationship disaster.
45. Did he cheat?
The person who commits the act is the guilty one while the loyal partner doesn’t consent to it, and having their physical health at risk because of an unknown partner possibly passing on some type of infection.
If he did, be glad to be rid of him.
46. Are we outgrowing each other?
This is something you definitely have to sit down to think about. If you are beginning to have doubt it’s okay moreover it is normal to get these thoughts: could I have made it work in even the worst circumstance possible?
47. Is he bored or just comfortable?
Be it familial, romantic, professional, or platonic definitely learning to identify each feeling. is as important as learning to avoid the bad apple Did things get too stale, or perhaps the romantic relationship ran its course?
A key tool to identify the situation is to tune in on behavior; does he show he cares or is it easier to find your partner’s lack of motivation.
48. Is my weight out of control?
Ignore this, women are known to naturally have fluctuations in their weight especially during menstruation. Unless you begin packing on 30 pounds at a time I would not take this ill-mannered unwanted advice into consideration.
49. Does he deserve a second chance? That depends on what he did.
50. Should I date online? This is dependent on whether you feel ready.; never rush a relationship, that is how disasters happen!