As solid as a couple relationship is, there are certain behaviors and mistakes that can ruin the relationship by extinguishing the flame that feeds it, especially in the initial year of the marriage!
Some statistics reveal that one in two marriages ends in divorce. What the statistics don’t say is what factors are involved. For this reason, we must avoid making some mistakes, often very common, which significantly compromise the stability of the couple relationship.
Love relationships aren’t always easy. If we make the decision to live in a relationship, we must agree to make an effort to prevent it from deteriorating and ending.
Here are the seven mistakes couples make in the initial year of the marriage.
Absolutely the first reason why marriages fail are expectations of the partner. It may sound trite or it may be confusing, but we all have expectations we place on our partner. Not to mention the explicit or implicit expectations (these are even more insidious) that are hidden in the institution of marriage.
And there are 2 types of expectations we have (no, we don’t just need one):
May our marriage be happy and be that way forever (“And they lived happily ever after for the rest of their lives”).
That our spouse should fulfill all our wants and needs.
Let’s analyze for a moment with a minimum of detachment the assumption that “we will live happily ever after” (as the magazines full of smiling faces and novels lead us to believe), sharing our spaces with another person (knowing that everyone is unique and constantly evolving) thanks to which we complete ourself perfectly, as if it were the last and only piece that fits perfectly to complete the whole puzzle.
If the initial year of the marriage (or marriage in general) is expected to be exclusively:
happiness (without sadness)
pleasure (without pain)
peace of mind (without obstacles or challenges to face)
warmth and cuddles (conflict-free)
then a fantasy is expected.
2. Lying in a relationship
Relationships are built on trust. Even if some lies are told for good, they don’t have to be there for there to be mutual trust. Think that the truth, sooner or later, will come out. Small lies also affect the relationship and are one of the reasons it can end.
The partner may think that if we lie about something insignificant, we can do it even in more serious circumstances. Hiding things from our partner has the same consequences. It is normal during an argument not to want to talk to your partner. In fact, taking some time can be a positive decision.
Better to avoid saying something that you might later regret. However, if this time of reflection goes too long, the partner may be affected and feel that they are not important enough as they are being ignored.
3. Disrespect your partner
We can safely tell our partner what bothers us, but it is best to avoid using offensive words and try to speak in a quiet moment, when the situation is not likely to be misunderstood.
Remember that even if you apologize, the damage will now be done. The accumulation of these lack of respect can deteriorate the love of the couple, always keep this fact in mind.
Making decisions without taking your partner into account is also a lack of respect. This is one of the most common mistakes among couples, but with a little attention it can be easily avoided. It is important to remember that the partner’s opinion matters and that they will be happy if we make them participate in our decisions.
4. Making assumptions in a relationship
A key point in avoiding relationship problems is effective communication. We must express what we want, feel, think and desire with sufficient clarity.
Just as the partner must pay attention and understanding to us, we too must strive to understand and not take things for granted. If we can’t trust what our partner tells us, then who else should we listen to?
5. Remove the partner from his passions
How would you feel if your partner pulled you away from what you like most? The couple relationship is formed by two different people who have made the decision to share their lives and to be together despite the differences.
It is therefore important that each member of the couple preserve her individuality by doing the things she loves most. If we ask our partner to let go of his passions, it is as if we forbid him to express a part of her personality. A balance is essential in the couple. If this fails, the relationship is stifled.
6. Worry only about your own pleasure
It is well known that sex is part of the nature of the human being. In a couple relationship where there is a compromise, sexuality plays a very important role. It could also be used as an efficient method of evaluating the relationship in general.
If we are selfish in sex and care only about our pleasure, we make one of the most serious mistakes in our relationship: our partner will feel like a simple sexual object.
7. Always question the relationship of the couple
If we spend time questioning our relationship in the initial year of the marriage, the only thing we show is that we have doubts about the commitment we have made or the bond that unites us with our partner. It is as if we are telling the partner that the relationship is not going anywhere.
This attitude could be due to fear, low self-esteem, lack of confidence or many other reasons. It is important to identify them in order to resolve them as soon as possible.
Such behavior causes insecurity in the couple and usually signals a drastic end. It is very important to be aware that you have made certain mistakes in the couple.
The more attentive we are to our behavior, the greater the likelihood of being comfortable with our partner. The important thing is never to lose hope and do our best to recover the harmony of the couple.