We’ve all been there. We have all had varying degrees of trauma, anxiety and depression. While some of us only deal with these things during specific points in our life, others deal with this regularly as an unmovable obstacle that prevents them from keeping up balanced relationships, hobbies, or activities of any sort, due to chemical imbalances in the brain. Often, these aren’t things that can be fixed by their efforts alone and sometimes require actual medical, psychological or neurological help.
These are understandable conditions that people suffer from and require the utmost patience and compassion, but these can encroach upon and take a toll on relationships or ones that are only just developing. Is liking your significant other a good enough reason to hold on while you are not whole, yourself? Or do you feel as though breaking away to repair what’s wrong will benefit you in the long run?
How Bad Have Things Gotten?
You must first know how bad things are and how depressed you are in order to decide whether or not to break up. Breaking up is never easy, but even worse when you are on the receiving end, so if you make a decision, make sure you are extremely sure and decided, as people move on and people feel pain, and not everyone likes the idea of staying friends after a break up no matter the reason. They could interpret this as an excuse if they aren’t fully aware of what’s happening and feel as though you’re only making up reasons to be free of them. And you don’t want to have to lose someone permanently over temporary decisions.
Do you feel as though this depression is life threatening and seemingly permanent, or is this more seasonal and temporary? Or maybe you’ve just encountered a hard situation recently and think that it’s depression when maybe it’s just a temporary hurdle? Your decision must come to you after thoughtful deliberation to be incredibly sure. If you wish to focus on yourself first without any distractions then do so. If your partner is supportive and open and helpful, then maybe it isn’t worth the risk to lose such a caring person.
Is Your Significant Other Beneficial Or Draining?
There’s a point at which your significant other can become what drains you. Although they may not be the source of your problems, it’s possible that they are a big factor. Have you given thought to the possibility that they may be the cause of your depression? Are they narcissistic abusers? Are they physically abusive? Do they isolate you in order to get control and governance over you? Do they not contribute anything to the relationship and expect only you to deliver, monetarily, emotionally, physically? Are the things that they ask for asking too much of you or making you sacrifice your values?
If they are indeed abusive and take advantage of you, whatever shape or form that may be doing it, then perhaps it is time to acknowledge the fact that if they aren’t contributing to your happiness, then maybe they are taking away from it. Pain is pain, emotional, physical or mental, no one deserves lies and abuse. Find a way to escape in a manner that is safe and low risk. In case of emergencies, set up contingency plans with people you can easily contact, or perhaps even your neighbors. Make use of modern technology and make ways for yourself to always have access to communicate with the police or with friends and family.
No one is worth the depression that they inflict upon you. You have the right to be treated fairly and with respect. In cases such as these, it is better to break up and move onto someone else that will treat you correctly and with respect. If this indeed is the situation that you’ve found yourself in, then your significant other is possibly the cause and the source of your depression.
A Supportive Partner
If on the other hand your partner is not the cause of your depression and is only trying to help but may not know how to, then breaking up is not the solution. No one can read our minds and no one can tell how their actions affect us, therefore communication has to be enforced. If you have times wherein you prefer to isolate yourself rather than be exposed to too much stimuli in order to recover from recurring depression, then communicate that instead of icing them out and leaving them to wonder what they did.
You have to let them know what you’re going through when you get into moments of anguish and need some time to yourself. If said and put in a way that’s compassionate and communicative, you’ll find that if your partner really has your best interests at heart, then they will understand and give you that room to breathe.
The same goes for letting your partner know what you struggle with so that they know what to expect coming into the relationship and if anything may come up during it. You must be equally as patient with them as they should be with you, as not everyone has experience with mental health issues or have it in their family to have knowledge of it or even mere experience of it.
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The Decision
If you decide to stay with your significant other, make sure you decided to because it was your decision and not because you were coerced or controlled. Your partner should be supportive in the preservation of your mental being and should be present for you as much as you need them to be. At the same time, you should open up to them as leaving them in the dark is harmful as well as hurtful.
If you choose to break up with a significant other that offers no support or is the root cause of your pain and depression, then you made the right decision. This will cause you pain and sometimes even confusion if the abuse has been happening long term, but this will give you the opportunity to mend yourself and finally address your trauma and depression.
