Relationships can be complicated, things won’t always be perfect, and sometimes you will argue with one another. You will not see things eye to eye all the time and things can even become hard to handle, but when is a relationship toxic? Sometimes you can find yourself in a toxic relationship without even realizing it. How can you spot the red flags? How do you know that your relationship is toxic? Do you know the signs?
Here is a list of 10 warning signs that will help you to understand if you might be in a toxic relationship:
1). You don’t feel like you can be yourself around your partner
Acceptance is a crucial thing in a relationship, the moment you feel like you can’t be yourself, a part of you ceases to exist. And in the long run that will only destroy you from the inside out, because you will spend all your life trying to hide a part that makes you… well you. Your partner should embrace the person that you are, and you should feel comfortable being in your own skin, especially around your partner.
2). Your partner never takes responsibility
Does your partner put all the blame on you? Are you always the one apologising for things that you haven’t done but somehow he/she makes you feel like you are always the one doing something wrong? Do you feel like you are always the one that has to apologise first? If your partner has trouble in taking responsibility for their actions, then you will probably spend the rest of your life apologising for things that you haven’t done, and that doesn’t sound very healthy, does it?
3). You don’t feel good enough
Do you know that feeling that no matter what you do or how hard you try to please the other person, somehow it feels like you are never pretty enough, skinny enough or even good enough? Does that ring any bells? Your partner should appreciate you for who you are, Change should only feel necessary if it’s something that you want. You should not allow the other person to make you feel like you need to change in order to feel loved.
4). Picture a happy future, is your partner in it?
If I would ask you to close your eyes and try to envision a future where you are happy, would your partner be a part of it? If the answer is no, then this is a very big sign that there’s something really wrong with your relationship right now. You should evaluate why you are in this relationship and if there is any hope in saving it, because the moment you see yourself happy without your partner should tell you that something isn’t right, don’t you think?
5). You feel like you’re the only one putting in any effort
A relationship is a partnership, you are part of a team that needs to work together. But do you feel like you are part of a team? Or are you working all by yourself? A relationship needs 2 people who give their 100% all the time. There are no short cuts.
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6). You feel completely drained
Believe it or not, a lot of people choose to remain in a bad relationship because they are so tired of trying to be happy that they just give up. But if you feel this way, then you aren’t giving up on that relationship, you are giving up on yourself. And if you don’t fight for your happiness, then who will? Sometimes people allow themselves to remain in a toxic relationship, because they believe that they don’t deserve more than that, but you are worth it, you deserve more!
7). You feel judged all the time
Do you feel like you are being judged all the time by your partner? It might get so bad that every time you try to do something you feel like you are being judged. Let me just tell you that this isn’t ok at all. You should not be feeling like you are being judged by the one person that should love you unconditionally. Loving someone also means accepting their flaws. After all no one is perfect.
8). You can’t communicate
When conversations are replaced by arguments, then you are never going to be able to sort out any problem or even be understood in your relationship. Communication is one of the keys to a healthy relationship, and if you lose that, then how are you supposed to make things any better? How can you work on a relationship, if you can’t even talk?
9). You feel like you have no voice
Do you have trouble feeling you’re being heard? Does your partner really pay attention when you are trying to say something? Is your opinion important? Do you feel like what you think or feel really matters? Your partner should listen to your concerns, worries or anything for that matter, You should be feeling heard, but are you?
10). You are not happy
All the relationships have their good and bad moments, but if the bad overcomes the good, then does it make sense to keep pursuing a relationship that will not make you happy? Shouldn’t your happiness be your first priority? Isn’t that the whole point of why we choose to be in a relationship in the first place? If you aren’t happy then why are you sharing a life with someone that doesn’t care about your happiness?
It’s ok to chase a happy relationship, after all you deserve nothing less, but if you feel that you are in a relationship that makes you feel anything but happy, then what are you fighting for? It’s ok to try to fix a bad relationship, but that will only be possible if both sides are willing to work together. Look I’m not going to tell you that relationships are easy or even perfect. Every relationship is different and they all have their own problems, but at the end of the day, if your partner thinks that it’s ok to treat you any less than what you deserve, then when are things going to change?
If you can identify yourself with any of the signs mentioned in this list, then you need to look deeper into your relationship and search for a solution, because a toxic relationship will only destroy you and you really deserve better than that! Never settle for less than you deserve.