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9 ways to fight the communication battle in your marriage

BONNETH · October 5, 2021 ·

There are numerous issues that married people face, one is the marriage communication problem. This is not a simple problem but something that many married couples failed to work on and sometimes lead to separation.

Here are some communication problems in marriage:

1. Hearing but not listening

Many couples are guilty of doing this, where they act as if they are listening to their spouse, but they aren’t. They are not absorbing what the other person is telling them and not realizing how their partners feel.

When asked for a solution, the other partner cannot present a solution cause they did not listen at all.

Hearing differs from listening cause when you listen, you are absorbing what your partner is feeling, and you can even advise them what to do to make them feel better.

2. Think before you speak

Another marriage communication problem that could be prevented if only both will think before they talk.

There are trigger words that some married couples hate hearing as it can start a fight thinking they are being attacked by their spouse. They are not thinking, but with their eagerness to hit back with hurtful words, a fight ensues.

When you say things to your spouse, you should learn how to deliver them in a way your partner will not feel criticized or make them believe they are wrong. You need to think about how you can say what is on your mind in a manner that your mate will listen.

When you suddenly say what is on your mind without thinking, you are not filtering what you are saying.

3. Talking only about yourself

When you keep talking about your day, what you want to do, what you have done outside the house, who you meet, what you are feeling, so forth, and so on, expecting your spouse to listen. Your partner will feel this is just a one-sided thing. The other speaks while the partner hears.

Soon the other person will feel left out and think that no one cares about what they feel cause the other person is the only one who wants to be heard but not giving their partner a chance to talk about themselves.

They are not even trying to ask about their spouse’s day and what they have been doing earlier. Even if your spouse is cooking your meal, it is fair to listen to them and make them feel special and appreciated.

4. Stop yourself from raising your voice

Even if you are angry and irritated with your spouse, you should keep yourself from shouting at them. Another marriage communication problem that always arises in a married couple.

Shouting or raising your voice at the start of the conversation will immediately have a negative effect on the one you are talking to. They will immediately be on their guard, and worst will join in on the shouting and raise their voice louder than yours.

Your conversation should start calmly where both of you can have a decent and interesting conversation.

5. Do not start your sentence with something negative

When you talk to your spouse and you start your sentence with a negative connotation such as you never tried, or you are not good, you don’t seem, among others. This is such a trigger for other people, and when they hear their partner start their sentence negatively, the conversation will take a bad turn. The argument starts soon enough.

It is better to start your sentence with something positive cause it will always have a positive outcome.

This marriage communication problem can be solved by being more considerate and thoughtful with your spouse.

6. Getting distracted easily

When you are having a conversation with your partner, even if it just a simple update with your daily happenings or it is something serious, make sure that you are not distracted by the TV, your cellphone, or your laptop.

To the point where you are just nodding your head at whatever your partner is telling you. You are responding negatively and showing indifference to your spouse this way.

It is also insulting to see someone not really minding what you are saying and would rather have you stay away from them while busy doing something else.

Your partner deserves your full attention, and if it is yourself getting the same treatment from your spouse, you will also feel frustrated with every conversation.

7. Not voicing out what you feel

Your partner will not guess your feeling, especially if you are silent about it. They don’t have a crystal ball to know what is running inside your head.

It is best to voice out when you feel disappointed with what your spouse did or with what they said, unless you tell your spouse that you don’t like their tone when you were talking earlier, they will never know when to stop and to consider your feelings.

This is another marriage communication problem that can be resolved fast if only both will communicate well.

8. Not trying to understand the other person

When one partner does not attempt to understand what the other person is feeling, even if they voice it out, there will be trouble ahead.

This is like being indifferent to what your partner is feeling and what they are telling you. In marriage, both should consider their spouse, especially if their spouse is already telling them what the problem is. Not acting on the problem after your partner informed you about it can wreak havoc on a marriage.

9. Not tuning to your spouse

When you are married, it is just right to tune in to your spouse while having a conversation or when they are saying something. You should absorb what they are telling you and respond accordingly. Some spouses will respond blandly with simple words to stop the other party from talking further. They are not really interested in what their partner is saying and would rather be done with the conversation.

This is a marriage communication problem that has a simple solution, but many couples cannot get over this issue.

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